<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Forgiveness by shirbert1989</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25967344">Forgiveness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirbert1989/pseuds/shirbert1989'>shirbert1989</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst With A Slightly Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Its the middle of the night and I was feeling sad, I’m sorry, Please Don't Hate Me, literally just angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:41:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,680</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25967344</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirbert1989/pseuds/shirbert1989</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She hadn’t been in his bed for a while. Not since that night when he told her what he did. He would never forgive himself, and no matter how many times his friends tried to comfort him, there was not a single bone in his body that allowed him to move on from his guilt.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Winifred Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Forgiveness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please don’t hate me. Thank you.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Out of all the places in the city, all the supermarkets or stores that had even a bit of food, Gilbert had to see her at the store nearest to the hospital where he worked.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She looked as ethereal as he remembers. Her red curls tied back in a loose braid hanging off one shoulder, her other looking just as smooth and creamy as his lips remembered. Her big blue eyes furrowing in concentration as she scanned the aisle, a small pout of her lips forming as her frustration grew.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gilbert was suddenly hit with the painful memory from nearly a year ago as he saw her. The memory of their break up that haunted him in his nightmares and woke him up with cold sweats and a rapidly beating heart. He’d stick his arm out to the side of the bed hoping to grasp her, but she wasn’t there, not anymore. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She hadn’t been in his bed for a while. Not since that night when he told her what he did. He would never forgive himself, and no matter how many times his friends tried to comfort him, there was not a single bone in his body that allowed him to move on from his guilt.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d been staring too long, and when she finally got what she was looking for with a victorious grin on her face and turned around, she saw him, and her grin immediately fell.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anne and Gilbert were staring at each other in the middle of the aisle, baskets in their hands and not nearly enough ideas for icebreakers.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Somehow in the past year since he saw her, she’d gotten even </span>
  <span class="s2">more </span>
  <span class="s1">gorgeous. He couldn’t put a word to it, but she was radiant, maybe even glowing. Even though her face had the most dejected expression he’d ever seen, she looked like a goddess- just one word or movement and he was absolutely entranced all over again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anne.” He said it so breathlessly Anne could barely hear it over the bustling store.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She cleared her throat and diverted her eyes to the floor. “Gilbert,” she acknowledged quietly, and the tension with which she said his name nearly tore his heart in two.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How-how are you?” It was a dumb question, but he needed to know.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anne glanced up at him and politely smiled, “Fine. How are you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fine.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was still staring at her like if he blinked she’d be gone in a second. The way their eyes connected felt so familiar to Gilbert, so right and belonging. Like the world could be destroyed and reborn and it still wouldn’t have as much power as their eyes did when they looked into each other’s.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But just like he remembered so vividly, Anne was stubborn. She held her chin up and stared him slack jawed in his eyes, a stern look on her face, determined not to let her expression falter.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s been so long,” he gulped.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anne bit her bottom lip and he knew when she did that, she was biting back a remark she would later regret.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I miss you,” Gilbert admitted softly, taking a cautious step towards her only to falter back when she quickly takes a step back.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t get to miss me,” she hisses.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tears threaten to spill from his eyes at her bluntness. But he deserves it. He deserves every remark and worse from her. He deserves everything and absolutely nothing at the same time.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know,” he chokes, clearing his throat. “I know.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He could’ve sworn Anne’s face softened at least a little bit at that.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How’s Winifred?” She asks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The mention of her name makes Gilbert visibly wince, and he finally breaks his eyes from her to stare at the floor. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know,” he says softly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I find that hard to believe.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I haven’t seen her since I saw you, Anne,” he rebuttals quickly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anne scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest, the shopping basket hanging awkwardly from her arm, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t find herself to care.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m surprised you didn’t just run into her arms when we ended things,” she says bitterly, her eyes piercing into Gilbert’s and shattering every organ in his body.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gilbert gulps, “I didn’t have feelings for her.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s what you told me about a hundred times before you went and slept with her,” Anne growls angrily. She wipes her eyes, not daring to let the tears fall in public.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Gilbert doesn’t. He lets the tears fall freely and silently down his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You also said that about a hundred times, if I recall correctly,” she scoffs.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was stupid. I was so, so stupid.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They stand across from each other in silence for a minute. They don’t care anymore that people could walk by any minute and see them cry, because the only response that mattered was the person in front of them.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I met someone,” Anne says quietly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gilbert doesn’t think any simple phrase has hurt as much as those three words that fell out of Anne’s mouth.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“His name’s Roy Gardner. We met about a a couple months ago. Our relationship’s new, only a few months old. He’s great, actually. I think I could love him,” Anne rambles on like if she doesn’t say this, she might never forgive herself.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gilbert’s heart stops and his breath hitches all in one. Anne must’ve known how bad this hurt him, he’d hurt her just as much, maybe even more. But he swallowed his pride. He knew he deserved this. It was his stupid actions, and stupid actions make stupid consequences.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m saying this because,” Anne closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them up again, looking calmer into Gilbert’s hazel specks. “I’m saying this because I want you to know that even though it still hurts, even though your betrayal scarred me more than any physical wounds have, I’ve moved on. And I think that despite everything, we used to love each other, and you deserve to know.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gilbert desperately shakes his head, “I </span>
  <span class="s2">still </span>
  <span class="s1">love you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anne swallows before croaking out, “But I don’t, Gil.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That nickname. That stupid nickname. He hadn’t heard it from her lips in so long he’d nearly forgotten about it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please give me another chance,” he practically pleads. “Just one more chance. I’ll do anything and everything to prove to you how much I love you. We can go back to how we used to be. We can be happy again.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m happy just the way I am,” she tries to argue.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But you know you’ll never be as happy with anyone else as you were with me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t register how blunt and crude his words come out as until Anne clenches her jaw and steps forward, staring him square in the eye with red brimmed eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s why it </span>
  <span class="s2">hurts </span>
  <span class="s1">so much,” she practically cries out. “To know I’ll never be as happy with anyone as I was with you, to know I could never be that happy again because you </span>
  <span class="s2">broke </span>
  <span class="s1">me the minute you cheated on me with Winifred, to know that no matter how much I tell myself I like Roy, he could </span>
  <span class="s2">never </span>
  <span class="s1">be you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then be with me. Please,” he begs, searching her eyes desperately.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her face grows blank before quietly going on, “Don’t you get it? I could never be with you again, Gilbert. I would never forgive myself. I wouldn’t be able to forgive you and just forget and live life normally because I’d always be looking over my shoulder to make sure you’re not going back to some blonde woman’s house after a couple drinks. If I can’t forgive you Gilbert, then how could I forgive myself?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her words linger between the two like an aura. Slowly, Anne steps back as Gilbert feels the tears spilling down his face. He could taste the salt against his lips but it was nothing compared to the bitter taste of her words.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Anne swallows dryly before squaring up her shoulders. “I hope you find someone Gilbert, and that you treat her right. Don’t mess up like you did with me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know I could never be with anyone else,” he says.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She sniffles, “You never know. Goodbye, Gilbert.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anne-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And since he’s stuck in his place and unable to process anything around him, he can’t stop her as she turns around and walks away. He can’t stop her as she casts a glance over her shoulder to see him watching her go. And since he’s stuck in place, he lets the love of his life leave him again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He would never forgive himself for hurting her and letting her go both times. She wouldn’t find it in herself to forgive him for cheating on her for a long time, but couldn’t seem to forgive herself for still wanting him back. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It would be a while until they ran into each other again and wouldn’t let the other slip away from their grip. It would be a while until they knew they were secure. It would be a while until Gilbert proved himself to her again and rebuilt Anne’s trust. It would be a while until they got hitched and started a family to continue their legacy. It would be a while until Anne would die in Gilbert’s arms from old age and their romance would become truly tragical.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But as they stared teary eyed at each other in the supermarket aisle, they didn’t know how long it would be until they silently forgave their demons. And as Anne turned her head around, disappeared, and left Gilbert silently sobbing, he knew that for now, as much as it pained him, he couldn’t change her mind no matter what he did.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And for now, the love of his life was gone, and he would knew right there that even if Anne somehow forgave him, he would die with this sin on his chest and regret pulsing through his bloodstream. But he deserved it, he knew he did.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have no excuse for writing this other than I have a headache, it’s the middle of the night, and I’m feeling sad.</p><p>But I was nice and gave you guys a semi happy ending because I knew if I didn’t I would not be able to sleep tonight. </p><p>I personally HATE cheating fics or fics where the couple doesn’t end up together. I don’t know why, but it just makes me upset so I try to avoid them as much as possible unless I stupidly enough don’t read the tags and accidentally read one. So I honestly have no idea why this popped in my head nor do I know why I would willingly write something like this.</p><p>That being said, I know Gilbert would NEVER cheat on Anne. But welcome to the world of fan fiction where I can write anything that I want! I wanted Anne to tell Gilbert off and just leave and they never see each other again, but that was too sad even for me. I needed to sprinkle in at least a little happy ending for the two. I personally could never forgive a cheater nevermind going back to him, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t give the two a happy ending.</p><p>That being said, please don’t hate me!! Please leave a kudos or comment and just yell at me or give constructive criticism. (I should also note I did not proofread this because it is 2 am and I am sleepy)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>